An Aching Heart in Hiding – Extended Epilogue

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One Year Later 

Esmeralda reflected that out of all the glorious, rosy tales of motherhood she’d heard so far, none of them had touched on the disgusting subject of morning sickness. 

Or if they had, it was made to sound like a light sort of thing, not throwing up the entire contents of one’s breakfast for the fifth morning in a row. The smell of cooking meat made her feel horribly sick, which was a pity. Meat being one of their staples, after all. She could tolerate roast chicken, as long as she didn’t have to actually eat it, but bacon would have her heaving her insides out within a minute. 

It was awful, because Esmeralda really did like bacon. 

She craved coffee in a way she never had before, and just the other day, she’d found herself staring down at a handful of chicken feed and thinking about how truly delicious it looked and smelled. 

Nobody had thought to warn her about that part of pregnancy, either. 

She had not, of course, eaten any chicken feed. It would have been difficult to do so with all the chickens looking mournfully at her‌. 

Another thing about pregnancy was how terrified Matthew was that something would happen to her. Being petted and spoiled was nice for the first month or so, but it was starting to get old now. 

“Are you alright, Esme?” Matthew asked, leaning over and rubbing her back. “Would you like me to hold back your hair?”

Esmeralda spat into the chamber pot. “No, thank you. I think I’m alright now. I’ll need some more of that tea Mrs. Whittington makes. That’s the only thing that makes the sickness go away.” 

“I’ll fetch some for you this morning. Come on, have a little mint tea, at least. That’s good for feeling sick.” 

Esmeralda nodded. “Thanks, Matthew.” 

They had a little mint plant growing in a pot on the windowsill. It was a gift from Mrs. Whittington, if she remembered correctly, and it had come in pretty handy over the past few months. 

Esmeralda’s pregnancy was four months along, and she was beginning to show. It was exciting, of course, but there was also a healthy dose of fear in there. Mrs. Whittington was also the town midwife, assisted by her grown-up daughter, Audrey. She would be in good hands, but it was scary‌. 

She hadn’t yet told her family and wasn’t entirely sure why. They’d be thrilled, of course, but somehow the time hadn’t been right. 

Matthew deftly picked a few leaves from the plant, placed them into a cup, and poured in a little boiling water. He slid the cup along to Esmeralda, and she wrapped her fingers around it, breathing in the minty scent. 

It did make her feel less sick. 

“Audrey says that the morning sickness should start to recede now,” Esmeralda explained. “Not a minute too soon.” 

“Well, how about we talk about something more interesting? Like baby names.” He suggested, grinning. 

Esmeralda felt a smile spread across her face. Despite all the discomfort that pregnancy had brought, she couldn’t wait for the new little Broadmoor to be introduced into the world. 

“I still like Agatha for a girl.” She said. “Aggie, for short.”

“And for a boy?”

“I liked your suggestion. Bernard, or Bernie.”

Matthew beamed at that. While Esmeralda fully intended to have the deciding vote on their baby’s name, she knew how much that name meant to Matthew. 

“I suppose we’ll just have to wait and find out.” Matthew said, smiling. “I can’t believe that we have almost five months to wait still.” 

“I’m sure it’ll go back in a flash. For you, that is. For me, I can look forward to back pain, swollen ankles…”

“I know fine well that your sisters and mother will spoil you rotten when they find out.” Matthew laughed, shaking his head. “You won’t have to lift a finger. Then, when the baby’s born, there’ll be a list as long as my arm of people who want to babysit.”

She grinned. “That’s true.” She paused, frowning a little. “Do you think I should have told them by now?”

Matthew shrugged. “I don’t think you did anything terrible by waiting. But you’ll start to really show soon, and they’ll be hurt if you don’t tell them at all.”

“I don’t even know why I’m nervous about telling them. I wasn’t afraid to tell you.” 

Matthew slipped his hand across the table, placing it on hers. 

“It’s a big secret to tell.” He said softly. 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door, and Anne’s face pressed against the window. 

“I think she wants to get in.” Esmeralda murmured, and Matthew snorted. “Come in, Anne!” 

Anne let herself in, taking a seat at the table without waiting to be asked. 

“Esmeralda, have you seen that new teashop in the town?” she asked breathlessly. 

“Well, I’ve seen it.” 

“I mean been in it.” 

Esmeralda and Matthew exchanged a look. 

“No, none of us have.” Esmeralda replied curiously. “Why? Is it awful? Is it overrun with rats?”

“No. It’s lovely. Really lovely. Sheriff Steele and Abby went, and Abby wants to go with me later today. And you, and maybe a couple of other local ladies. It’ll be a fun trip out, she says. Do you want to come?”

Esmeralda glanced at Matthew; eyebrows raised. 

There’d been a number of changes in Clay Hollow over the past few years, including the new teashop. The teashop primarily sold coffee, despite its claims of selling ‘real English breakfast tea,’ along with some reputably delicious cakes and goodies. 

Another change was the return of Abby Steele. Esmeralda had found out that the estranged couple were exchanging letters from John, but everyone was shocked to see the woman in town again, arm in arm with her husband. Sheriff Steele practically glowed with hope and pride, and it was delightful to watch Mrs. Steele gradually build up her trust in her husband. 

By the time she agreed to move back to Clay Hollow and into Sheriff Steele’s home, it was well established that the couple had reconciled. 

Esmeralda was glad for the sheriff. It was good to see that he’d changed enough to repair his relationship with his wife. 

Apparently, letters from Blake were few and far between, although his father and mother wrote to him doggedly. 

Freddie, however, refused to write. The boy had just turned sixteen and was quickly growing into a man. 

That, apparently, was something that Maria had noticed rather forcibly. She was fifteen, around six months younger, and had begun to make something of a beeline for Freddie at chapel and at various social functions. Freddie was both horrified and thrilled by this attention. It remained to be seen what would become of it, but after all, Maria was an exceptionally determined young lady. 

Abby Steele had made her mark on the town in many ways, starting with her friendship with Anne. Abby was quiet, studious, and a little snappy. She was an intelligent and independent woman and took a shine to Anne right away. Her return to her husband had been on her own terms, and she intended to start as she meant to go on. 

Esmeralda remembered the old Abby Steele only vaguely and had nothing but admiration for the current Abby Steele. 

“I’d like to go to the teashop.” She said, sipping her mint tea. “When does Abby want to go?”

“Around lunchtime, I think. That’ll give us time to sort out our chores first.” 

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it.” Matthew said, getting up and clearing away his breakfast dishes. He bent over and kissed Esmeralda, his hand sliding down to cup the growing curve of her belly. The gesture was hidden from Anne by the table, but Esmeralda stiffened even so. 

Anne made muffled vomit noises. 

“That’s not funny, Anne.” Esmeralda growled when Matthew was gone. She levered herself up from her seat, resisting the urge to place one hand on her belly. “Give me a minute to pull myself together, and we’ll go on up to the dairy.” 

“Do you want me to meet you there, or walk with you?”

“Walk with me. Matthew’s terrified that if I go for a walk alone or lift anything at all, something terrible will happen to me and a baby.” 

“Hm,” Anne said thoughtfully. “For an ex-bounty hunter, he’s very nervy, isn’t he?”

“Tell me about it.” 

*

The dairy was Carlotta’s pet project. Previously, their income had solely come from meat, from breeding and selling prize livestock, and other usual ranch employments. 

Shortly after Esmeralda’s marriage, Carlotta decided that they should start keeping cows for milk and cheese. They even made cheese from sheep and goat’s milk. It was a shockingly profitable business, and one that Esmeralda thoroughly enjoyed. 

She walked slowly up from her cabin, the house that Matthew had built for her with his own hands, towards the big ranch house where she’d grown up. Anne chattered nonstop about something or other, and Esmeralda let her mind go, fluttering wherever it wanted. She thought about her home, her ranch, her dairy, about the life growing inside her, and about the man she loved. The man she’d met in the most extraordinary way. 

Sometimes Esmeralda felt that surely the way she and Matthew met must have been a dream, and the reality was much more predictable and boring. Perhaps they’d just run into each other on market day, or something equally dull. 

Well, I always wanted adventure, Esmeralda thought, grinning. 

She could see the new dairy building up ahead, made of new wood and hope. There were dozens of stalls inside, each one with the cow’s name carved delicately onto a board in front of the stall. The sheep were kept with the goats, in a paddock just behind the dairy itself. 

There’d be butter to churn today, and Carlotta would already have made a start on the milking. Maria was supposed to be helping, but there was a good chance she would be off galloping around the fields with Hercules. 

He was as huge as ever, but Maria had somehow grown into him. It was hard to explain. She hadn’t grown out of trying to get out of her chores, though. 

Then there would be the teashop visit later, and Abby had ordered a new book from somewhere impressive, somewhere that ordered its books from England. 

What was the book called? Jane Eyre, that was it. Esmeralda had never heard of it, but Abby was already raving about it. 

She smiled to herself, feeling something flutter inside her. 

She still hadn’t visited the sea, and that was a shame. Strangely enough, Esmeralda didn’t feel as though she’d missed her opportunity. Matthew had promised to take her, and he would, as simple as that. There was a good chance they’d bring their child along, and that somehow seemed to make it better. 

Esmeralda reached the top of the hill and paused, turning to look back over the patchwork of fields and paddocks. She spotted two diminutive figures moving across one field, heading towards their biggest horse paddock. 

The figures were John and Matthew, of course. Esmeralda watched them, and realized with a dull sort of surprise that she was happy, happier than she could ever have imagined being. 

It was strange how that sort of thing could sneak up on you. 

I know it’s an awful thing to think, Esmeralda thought, suppressing a smile, But I’m glad that cattle rustler shot Matthew in the shoulder. 

As if sensing her scrutiny, the blond-headed figure turned back to look at her. He saw her and raised his arm in a salute. 

Esmeralda smiled and waved back. 

“Esme?” Anne said, a little way away by now. “Are you coming?”

“Yes,” Esmeralda said, “I’m coming. I’ve got something to tell you, actually.” 

Anne raised her eyebrows. “Oh? Is it good news?”

“Very good. It’s something of a secret, actually.” 

Esmeralda let her hand drop to her belly. “My little secret.” 

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