Following Her True Calling (Preview)

Chapter One

Loretta Kinsman was on her way to the dining room by seven. It was the time her father read the daily newspaper as they both enjoyed breakfast prepared by Paulina. She cooked the food that was served by Grady, who left Sissy to clear the table. They were all chores Loretta believed she could perform with ease, and she wanted to do so, but her father didn’t allow such things.

“Is there news that might be of interest to me?” Loretta asked.

Grady placed a soft-cooked egg and two pieces of dark toast in front of her. On a silver tray, he had an assortment of jams and butter for her to choose from. Loretta pointed to the ones she wanted, and he placed dollops on her plate.

“There isn’t anything that you need to concern yourself with. I read the finance pages, and that’s not something you would understand, nor should you. I had Agnes select some books from the library that might interest you.”

“I would enjoy choosing my own books from the public library. One recently opened in Winnetka, and I long to visit. I love the library you have set up in our home, but it isn’t nearly as big as the one on Main Street,” Loretta remarked. “We could go together if you like.”

“I can tell you have grown tired of the books we have here. I’ll order new books, and Agnes will organize them for you. It will be better than the public library,” Loretta’s father stated firmly.

Donnie Kinsman had decided how things would be handled, and the conversation was finished. He hadn’t changed the way he treated Loretta since she was a little girl. Now, as a young woman of nineteen, it was frustrating for Loretta. Her desires and interests had changed since she was a young girl, but little else had.

“Are you going to tell me which servant put the library idea in your head? I’ve spoken to every one of them about not tempting you with inappropriate suggestions. Was it Agnes?”

“No,” Loretta responded.

“Grady?”

“No,” she said.

“Was Nell the one who told you about the library?”

Nell was her closest friend on the staff. She had been with Loretta since she was five and was the closest thing to a mother she had. Loretta hadn’t lied to her father when he asked about the others, and she wasn’t lying about Nell.

“It wasn’t Nell. I glanced at an announcement on the back of your paper. When Helen came by for tea, I asked her about it,” Loretta answered.

She was honest, but still, she held her breath. Loretta shifted in her chair and pulled at her dark brown curls. Her father usually moved on quickly after he had gotten to the bottom of something. She hoped that was the case this time, and he didn’t prohibit Helen from visiting in the future.

“Professor Butterfield will be here at noon for your harp lesson, and I expect you to be in the conservatory on time. Last week you were late, and I was terribly embarrassed,” Mr. Kinsman said between spoons of oatmeal. “He’s very busy at the university, and it was no easy task getting him as your teacher.”

“He mentioned that he gives most of his lessons at the university. Perhaps it would be more convenient for him if I travel there,” Loretta suggested.

The chance to walk out the front door without sneaking was exciting to even imagine. The thought of going all the way to the university made Loretta giddy.

“I won’t have my daughter parading down the streets and through the halls of the university. This house is the grandest in Winnetka if not in the entire state of Illinois. I took us away from Kansas and moved you into this stately home.” His face was turning red. “You haven’t a need to go anywhere for anything.”

“The day will come when I must leave and have a family of my own. I just think the man I marry will want me to have some life experience,” Loretta reasoned.

Mr. Kinsman laughed. “They care nothing of life experience. The only thing that will matter to them is who I am and the size of your dowry. Of course, they’ll be pleased to find you charming. I’ve given you dance instruction, music lessons, and etiquette training. What more can you need?” he asked but expected no answer.

He returned to reading his paper. Loretta craned her graceful neck to read the back of the newspaper. She seldom stepped outside of the house and felt as if she were missing out on so much. A little news on a subject she didn’t care about was better than none at all.

When her father was done eating but still drinking his coffee, he became engrossed in his paper. He hardly noticed Loretta’s presence. She took advantage and used the time to hide a few buns in her skirts and stow apples in her billowy sleeves. Grady caught a glimpse of what Loretta was doing, and although he was confused, he didn’t mention the odd behavior.

“Father, may I be excused? I’m reading a fascinating book, and I can’t wait to see what happens next,” Loretta fibbed.

She was reading Wuthering Heights, but she couldn’t tell her father. It was about romance and not the kind he would approve of. Therefore, it wasn’t really a lie. Loretta loved her father, and despite his flaws, she tried hard to respect him. He was in a perpetual state of grief after the loss of his beloved wife.

“Very well. Go finish your reading. It must be one of the books that Agnes selected for you. It’s a list I approve of that won’t expose you to inappropriate ideas.”

“I have all the books she passed on to me.”

Loretta walked carefully to the end of the table to give her father a kiss on the cheek. An apple fell to the floor and rolled all the way across the floor. It rested at the foot of Grady’s shiny black shoe. Loretta’s blue eyes popped. She gasped. Grady smiled and picked it up, and held it behind his back. Mr. Kinsman didn’t notice a thing.

Loretta got to the bottom of the grand staircase. The steps were marble and covered with a carpet runner from the Orient.

“Miss Kinsman.” Grady held up the apple. “I believe this is yours.” He winked.

“Thank you, Grady. I’m sure you’re wondering why I pilfer food from the table.”

“I know you, Miss Loretta, so I am certain you have a good reason. Many of us here on staff gladly look the other way as long as you aren’t in harm’s way. That is not to say we all share the same sentiment, so do be cautious.”

“I assure you, I take every precaution in everything I do. I am not inclined to take risks. As far as the staff goes, I know who my friends are.”

Loretta took the stray apple in one hand and put the other on the banister. When her father had the cherry-wood handrail installed, she had tried sliding down it. She went from top to bottom in no time, much to her father’s consternation. She landed with a thud on the hard floor but wasn’t hurt. Loretta was sent right to her room after that and never slid down the banister again.

Donnie Kinsman did not allow Loretta to take risks, ever. He told her she was the last great memory he had of her mother. Loretta understood his fears of something happening to her, but something had to change.

***

Loretta poured the bread and apples she had collected at breakfast onto the mattress of her four-poster bed. She fetched the crate that she kept hidden on the veranda. It was filled with fruit, hardtack, cookies, biscuits, and more rations she had taken earlier in the week. It was hidden from her maid Gwen who had been hired within the past year. Loretta suspected she was a spy for her father, so she had to hide the stolen food. Gwen didn’t clean the veranda because she thought it went unused.

She would go about her day performing activities that pleased her father. Loretta would read, finish her needlework, and practice playing the harp. At noon, she would meet Professor Butterfield in the conservatory for her lesson. Each of the activities would be done in the confines of the mansion. There were times when she didn’t know if it was raining or sunny outside.

Then, Loretta would eat dinner with her father. After excusing herself from the dining room, she would walk to her room. What she really wanted to do was run because the best part of her day was just beginning.

Loretta closed her door and pretended to be exhausted and retiring early. She turned the gaslight down, so it was barely a flicker. If the moon were throwing off light, she’d be lucky and pull open the curtains. Loretta would step out of the usually pastel-colored dress she was wearing and into a drab green frock. It had been pushed to the back of her closet, so Gwen didn’t know it existed. A bonnet now covered her soft brown curls, and she put on sturdy shoes.

Loretta looked in the mirror. She appeared typical and not like the privileged daughter of the wealthiest man in town. She could easily be taken for a maid on her way home from work. The best part of what Loretta saw was the extra inch of height the shoes gave her. She was used to padding through the house with her flat slipper-like shoes. Loretta was short, and her father was slightly above average. She concluded that her height or lack of it was something she got from her mother.

***

Loretta heard three loud knocks on the trellis that ran up the side of the mansion. It was her friend Helen who had been helping her sneak out for months. They didn’t always have to use the trellis. When Mr. Kinsman was away on business, Loretta could simply sneak out the back door. It wasn’t as safe and slightly naughtier when she was forced to escape from the veranda. It was worth it because her destination was close to her heart.

The Posner School in town had the poorest and hungriest children in all of Illinois. The children not only went to school to learn but to eat. Most of what they received was charity, but it was never enough. Loretta was committed to doing anything possible so she could help the children. In those young people, she saw hope. Many were neglected or abandoned. Loretta dreamed of them when she went to sleep at night, and she’d help every one of them if she were able.

The girls dragged the crate to the edge of the property under the cover of night. The next morning, Loretta would sneak out again, and they would make the delivery. They had managed to keep it a secret from Mr. Kinsman for over a year.

Loretta and Helen created a pulley system to lower the food-stuffed crate. They used old bedsheets Loretta collected from several of the unoccupied bedrooms. The quarters were for visitors that never came. Her father had a crazy notion that one might have a bad influence on her.

“Ready?” Loretta whispered loudly before lowering the crate.

“As I’ll ever be,” Helen answered.

Loretta expertly climbed down. She breathed a sigh of relief when her feet touched the ground.

“Ahh, the fresh air. I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t able to help me. I’d never have the courage to do this all by myself,” Loretta commented. “I’m not sure what scares me more, being caught by my father or attacked by a stranger.”

Helen Devereux lived on the other side of town. Her house was more modest than the Kinsman mansion, and she had six brothers and sisters. Loretta and Helen had met because her father worked for Mr. Kinsman as a bookkeeper. Loretta was fortunate to have found a friend that her father tolerated and allowed her to visit with.

“I have news that’s both good and bad,” Helen announced.

“What?” Loretta asked excitedly.

“I’ve found a job. I’m going to be a live-in maid for a family on the hill. That’s the good news because I’ve been wanting to forge a life of my own. This will prepare me to marry and have a family of my own. It will teach me the skills to be independent from my family,” Helen explained. “The bad news is that I won’t be able to get away to help you escape. I will help when I can, of course.”

“Oh.”

“It gets worse. I have to be at the Fallon house tomorrow before dawn for my first day of work. I can’t be here in the morning to make the delivery with you.” Helen squinched her face. “I feel terrible, but I hope you can be happy for me. This job means so much to me.”

“I can’t help but be happy for you. Your happiness is my own, but I’m also sad. I’ll miss you, and moreover, I have an immediate worry,” Loretta fretted.

“What’s that?”

“How am I going to carry the crate to the school by myself? We have always stowed it away at night and carried it to school the next morning.”

Helen pulled two empty flour sacks from her satchel. Loretta could carry one over either shoulder. If she had to leave some food in the hidden crate, she could grab it next time.

Loretta bid her friend a tearful goodbye, and they promised to stay in contact. She would still see Helen, but it wouldn’t be quite as often. Loretta would have to work twice as hard to help the hungry children. She was undeterred because they were worth any amount of effort. 

Chapter Two

Loretta peered out her window and watched as her father’s carriage left the mansion’s grounds. She was relieved when her father traveled to Chicago. Donnie Kinsman met with fellow investors several times a month. On those days, Loretta requested breakfast in her room. She claimed the dining room was too lonely when her father wasn’t present.

A knock on her door from Nell meant breakfast had arrived.

“Good morning, Miss Kinsman,” Nell chirped.

She used the formal address before she knew they were alone. Mr. Kinsman would not approve of any servant or maid calling her plain Loretta.

“Hello, Miss Nell,” Loretta said sarcastically. “Come in and sit. I have so much to tell you.”

Nell sat in the window seat as Loretta told her about Helen’s news. She lamented that her father would never allow her to work. She feared she wouldn’t have a chance to follow her dream of working with needy children. Nell knew all about Loretta’s dreams and desires and wished she could help her achieve them. All she could do was look the other way when Loretta went about her business in secret. If she aided her in any way and was found out, she’d be fired. Then she would never lay eyes on Loretta again. Nell was aware of Donnie Kinsman’s power and temper. She was aware he loved his daughter and would keep her safe at all costs. Nell didn’t always agree with his idea of safe, but he was in charge.

“Are you working in the garden today?” Nell asked.

She knew that wasn’t what Loretta had planned.

“Yes, right after breakfast. You know how arduous and time-consuming pruning roses can be.” Loretta smiled.

“I do, and be careful because if a thorn pricks your finger, it will be painful.” Nell winked.

“I know that, and it’s the one approved activity that I enjoy. The fresh air is invigorating, and I believe it contributes to my health. I wouldn’t want Father to take that away from me.”

***

Loretta changed into her drab dress. Anyone in the house who commented would realize it was meant for getting dirty in the garden. She looked around her room with windows reaching up to the high ceiling. Loretta couldn’t look at the drapes that consisted of several yards of unnecessary fabric without guilt. She thought of how much good could be done with it. The girls at the Posen School wore rags; how special they’d feel with a new green velvet dress. The extra drapery that gathered on the floor was a silly sign of wealth. It was meant to send the signal that the homeowner could afford any amount of fabric.

Such signs of excess could be found throughout the mansion. Fifteen bedrooms were not necessary for a family consisting of two people. The art collection lined the walls of hallways that were rarely walked down. A ballroom that was larger than most homes in Winnetka had never been used. Mr. Kinsman said he was saving it for Loretta’s wedding reception. He claimed it would be the social event of the year in the state of Illinois.

Loretta shook her head in disgust at the extravagance before heading out the door.

She located the crate and filled her two sacks with as many rations as she could carry. She’d look like Saint Nicholas himself as she walked down the street. As always, Loretta took the road less traveled so no one saw her. Most people wouldn’t know who she was because she had so rarely been allowed outside.

Loretta lowered her head and charged towards the Posen School when, smack! She collided with a man, and her sacks spilled out on the footpath. Apples rolled, and a bag of oats poured across pebble-covered rocks. Loretta instinctively fell to her knees to save as much food as possible. As she scrambled like a crab, Loretta’s finger touched his. She looked up to find a man equally as startled as she was. Loretta pulled her hand back and sat down on the uneven ground. Her legs were splayed.

“I am so sorry. I’m a clod, and I should have been looking where my feet were taking me. I’m Colt, Colt Jacobs. It looks like one of the sacks didn’t spill. Oh, gosh. I’ll replace anything that was lost. Are you okay? I’m guessing from your round eyes that you’re just as shocked as I am.”

He picked up the apples that hadn’t split and dusted them off before putting them back in the sack.

“I wasn’t looking where I was going, so I should be the one apologizing,” Loretta insisted. “Don’t worry about the oatmeal. There’s plenty more where that came from. I was focused on getting to the Posen School. This food is all I can give them for now, and I make it to the children as often as I can.”

“Isn’t that a coincidence? I’m on my way to the Posen School also. It’s my first week as a teacher. If you tell me your name, we can walk together,” Colt suggested.

Loretta could feel her face warm. She was surely blushing. How could she not give her name straight away? When he heard her surname, he would certainly recognize it. Everyone knew of Donnie Kinsman and his reclusive daughter. He gave his full name, so she ought to do the same.

“I’m Loretta, Loretta Kinsman.”

The look on his handsome face didn’t change when she gave her name. He must be from out of town. Likely from a different part of the country as her surname meant nothing to him. Colt’s unkempt brown hair didn’t distract from his vibrant green eyes.

“Shall we Loretta, unless you prefer I call you Miss Kinsman?” Colt asked as he took the sacks, combined them, and hefted them over his shoulder. He offered her his free arm.

At nineteen, Loretta had never walked on the arm of a man. She didn’t know if it was appropriate, but Colt didn’t mind, so neither did she. All those etiquette lessons she was forced to endure didn’t seem so important anymore.

“I’m confused why I didn’t see you at the school in recent days. I would have remembered you had I seen you. Are you new to the Posen School?” he questioned her.

“No, I’m not new because I’m not a teacher or anything else at the school. I’m compelled to help children in need and come by when I’m able.”

Colt unlocked his arm and waved his index finger in the air. “You have to give yourself more credit. You said you aren’t anything at the school, and that’s hogwash. It’s people like you, who give their time with no compensation, that matter the most. You want to work with the children at the school and don’t have to.”

“I never thought of it that way. Thank you for the compliment, but I’m only following my heart. It seems strange to me that more people don’t reach out and help the needy, especially children,” Loretta commented.

“There are people happy to live behind the walls of their big houses. They prefer not to see the hunger and pain in the world. They’d rather focus on counting their coins, and that’s what makes them happy.”

“I find myself embarrassed for those people. I normally leave my food donations in the back. Unless the children are playing outside, I don’t have much interaction with them. It’s a shame, but I’m content knowing that I did a little something to make their day brighter,” Loretta explained.

“You are the one leaving the rations! I figured it was an angel,” Colt exclaimed. “It’s a shame you don’t have more time with the children as they would benefit from having you around. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve lifted my spirits. Imagine what you could do for them.”

Loretta felt her face warm again. Colt had made her blush twice in a short time. She was not accustomed to receiving such kind words. It didn’t go unnoticed that they were coming from a handsome stranger.

“Maybe someday I’ll be a teacher like you.” Loretta used her hand to block out the sun. “The children are all inside, so there is no reason to go any further. Thank you for carrying the sacks, and maybe I’ll see you next time I make a delivery. I promise to watch where I’m going and not crash into you.” She giggled.

Colt rubbed his clean-shaven chin. “I believe that things happen for a reason, and we were meant to collide. Nothing makes my day more than seeing the children happy, and you will help make that happen.”

“I will?” Loretta pointed inward towards her chest.

“If you’ll accompany me, I’d like to bring you into my class. I’m teaching eight-year-old children to read. Well, that’s not entirely true since I have a six-year-old girl and a boy who’s sixteen. Most of the children come from the orphanage, and you would bring pleasure to their lives.”

“I have to be home by dinner, but I could go for a short while,” Loretta agreed to go with Colt.

“I’ll personally make sure you get home on time. I’ll walk you myself.”

“No,” Loretta insisted. “I’m fine, and you don’t need to go out of your way. The sun will still be shining, and I like to stroll by myself. It gives me a chance to think about the day I’ve had. I express gratitude to the heavens for all of my blessings.”

She couldn’t allow Colt to see where she lived.

“Makes sense that you wouldn’t want a stranger to walk you home. I’m being forward, but something about you sets me at ease,” Colt remarked.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.”

***

Loretta followed Colt into the cramped classroom, and it was heavenly. Her heart had never been so full of happiness seeing all of the smiling faces. A dozen children swarmed around Colt, peppering him with questions and stories. They craved the attention of an adult who cared since they had none of that in their lives.

“Take your seats. I want to see how well-behaved you are today as we have a special visitor.” Colt nodded to Loretta so she would introduce herself.

She removed her bonnet, thankful that she had thought to put a clip in her hair earlier. She often didn’t when wearing a headcover. In those cases, her curly hair would become an unruly mess. She wasn’t going to give her surname because at least one of the children must know of Donnie Kinsman.

“My name is Miss Loretta. My day has been made better just by seeing your smiling faces. If you don’t mind, I’m going to sit in the back as Mr. Jacobs teaches the class. Pay close attention because I happen to know there are treats after class.”

They roared with delight. Included with the rations in her sack were butterscotch cookies made by Paulina. They were divine.

***

Loretta stayed until the end of class. Colt had a hard time concentrating because he was focused on her, and the bliss in her stunning blue eyes. He could tell just by looking at her that the children made an imprint on her heart. There were times he had thought he was the only one who felt that way. How lucky was he to run into a woman of physical beauty who was at the same time intelligent and caring?

“Children, you were very obedient today. I think having Miss Loretta here had something to do with it. Do you think we should ask her to join us again?” he asked the group.

The children roared with excitement. Colt was pleased that he wasn’t the only one who wanted Loretta back in the classroom. He motioned for her to stand up.

“If that’s an invitation, then yes. I’d love to come back to your classroom. I know some fun lawn games that I can teach you next time I come,” Loretta promised.

“When, when? Will you be back tomorrow?” one of the children asked.

Colt waited in anticipation for her answer. 

“I will have to make sure I haven’t made plans, but I’ll try to be here.”

Loretta stood at the door and gave each child a cookie as they left. After the last one left, she turned to Colt. She was positively beaming and even did a slight hop of excitement.

“Are you here every day?” she questioned him.

“The school has classes Monday through Friday. I’ve found, though, that so many kids need somewhere to go on the weekends. I’m here for anyone who needs me. If you’re ever interested, I’d love the company.”

Confidence was one of the things Colt was known for. Around Loretta, he was afraid of choosing the wrong words. He didn’t want to seem too forward and scare her away. He was at ease but nervous at the same time. It was a strange combination of feelings.

“Nothing would make me happier than to spend time with you and the children,” Loretta gushed. “Unfortunately, things are not that simple. I will do everything in my power to be here as often as possible.”

“Is there some way I can make it easier for you to get away? Do you have a job that takes precedence?”

He regretted being so pushy. It was none of his business to know why Loretta’s schedule was the way it was. He had only just met her.

“I’ll share details another time. I can’t be late, so I must go now.”

Just like that, Loretta disappeared, and he didn’t know when he’d see her next. Colt took a moment to catch his breath. In his thirty-three years, a woman had never had that effect on him. He watched as she walked away. Her soft brown curls swayed in the wind, but then her head turned, and she stopped. The afternoon sun shone off her freckled face as she raised a hand and waved goodbye.

---

“Following Her True Calling” is an Amazon Best-Selling novel, check it out here!

Loretta’s sheltered life revolves around helping children and enjoying the beauty of the wilderness. Her curious nature leads her to wander and on one of her outings, fate brings Colt, a kind teacher into her life. Sadly, her father’s constant meddling will unintentionally drive him away from her. Eager to discover her roots and get away from her present circumstances, she escapes to her old hometown…

Faced with an impossible choice, will she be able to uncover the truth before it’s too late?

A former orphan himself, Colt Jacobs has devoted his life to helping the less fortunate children. When he meets Loretta he realizes that he has never met a person who is as caring for orphans as he is. Soon, however, he discovers that he knows nearly nothing about her background. When Loretta disappears without a warning leaving him heartbroken, he has no option but to head west to seek a better future.

Will Colt be able to let go of his past or will it come back to change his life once more?

Colt and Loretta will find a way to rekindle their relationship, but her father’s objections are fierce. Their love is threatened by outside forces that will do anything to break them. Can their pure relationship survive the terrible consequences when the truth is revealed?

“Following Her True Calling” is a historical western romance novel of approximately 80,000 words. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed happily ever after.

Get your copy from Amazon!