The Outlaw’s Hidden Heartache (Preview)


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Cora May MacKenzie pushed back her auburn hair, keeping a thick portion of it in between two fingers, which she twisted repetitively, knowing all the while the hair would stay curled like that until she washed it again. 

She stood on the porch of the one-story cottage she shared with her father. At sixteen, she had already experienced the trauma of losing her mother, who became ill and passed away on the trip over from Ireland when Cora was ten. 

Cora May missed her mother every day. Sometimes, the floating image of her mother smiling and calling her “my precious girl” would pass in front of her eyes as if she could reach out and touch her. It was always an illusion. But sometimes, it felt so real.

They’d settled in Boston after they reached North America in New York. It had been an arduous trip, and Cora May never knew where she would be sleeping each night. When they’d reached Boston, her father seemed to know several men who set him up with business opportunities. He made fairly good money, but for some reason, that money never seemed to stick around for long. 

There was enough for her to eat and be clothed and never have holes in the soles of her shoes. But even at ten, Cora May knew there was something off about how her father conducted business. That period lasted for about two years. 

Then, suddenly, out of the blue, her father owned and became the operator of a carpentry shop. Cora May began to visit him there and watch him work. She’d never known he could create beautiful furniture and objects out of lengths of wood and trunks of trees. 

 Cora May turned to the door to go inside. Her mouth was as dry as the desert. She needed a drink and had just made some fresh lemonade that morning. She’d also purchased some milk from the farmer next door and could drink that or maybe cook up some bacon or an egg for breakfast. 

A booming sound came from the distance, and a plume of smoke rose into the air. Her eyes darted to it. It was in town but on the outskirts and seemed near her father’s carpentry shop. 

Cora May’s heart skipped a beat. She frowned, hurrying inside and grabbing her boots from the mudroom. She pulled them on as she went back out the door and ran down the steps and around the house to the shelter her father had built to protect their horses and the buggy from the rain. 

As quickly as she could, she hitched the buggy to her horse, Daisy, and they set off for town. It was only about five minutes by buggy, but she stopped the vehicle upon reaching the street where her father’s business was. 

From some distance, she watched townsfolk gather around the shop, lit up with fiery flames, smoke billowing from the two front windows and the entrance.  She swept her eyes over the crowd, looking for her father, her breath caught in her throat. What if he’d been in the shop?

What if Pa was dead?

“Cora May!” 

She heard her name called and turned to see one of her father’s friends waving his arms at her. She could see him because he was taller than everyone around him, plus several men were bent over or kneeling in a half circle. That must be where her father was. The fact that she couldn’t see him told her he was probably lying or sitting on the ground. 

Instead of getting the horse moving again, Cora May jumped out of the buggy and ran to her father, holding her skirt up so she wouldn’t trip. The men gathered around him stepped back to make room for her so she could see him. He was sitting up, covered in black soot, holding his head up with one hand pressed against his forehead.

“Pa!” she cried out, running to him. “Papa, I’m so glad you’re all right! What happened?”

She could tell when he looked up at her how much he didn’t want to tell her the truth. Would she get the truth from him? She’d questioned the source of his money for a very long time. Now they’d had the shop for four years, and suddenly, it was completely destroyed. That seemed suspicious to her. 

Had her father’s past caught up with him?

“I don’t know how it started,” he said in his gravelly voice. 

Cora May didn’t believe that. 

But it didn’t matter. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself to him in a tight, warm hug. 

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Pa. I need you so much. Please don’t leave me. I still have some growing up to do. I need to take care of you and the cottage for as long as I can.”

He lifted her chin and looked directly into her green eyes.

“We can’t stay here, honey,” he whispered. 

Cora May noticed the men that had surrounded them had dispersed. She looked around in wonder. “What? What do you mean? Can’t we rebuild the shop and carry on? You’ve got the money to do that, right? If you don’t, you can make it. I’ll help. I’ll get a job doing laundry or—”

“No, Cora May.” He was so serious that it sent a bolt of fear through her chest. “We have to go. My shop was attacked, and I fear that if we don’t get to the cottage soon and gather our things, we might not have anything to return to.”

Cora May’s eyes widened. She hopped to her feet and turned to run back to the buggy. Her father was hot on her heels.

“We might have enough time for me to get cleaned up and you to pack some things to take with us. Bring only what we need.”

Cora May nodded, hopping up into the buggy. There was only one thing she would be sure to bring. The picture of her, her mother, and her father, just before they left Ireland for North America. That was the only important thing that could not be left behind. 

 

Chapter One

The sudden blast of the ship’s horn made Cora May jump. Her chest was tight with anxiety and anger, though she wouldn’t let it show. 

Four years had passed since her father’s carpentry shop had burned to the ground, sending them on a journey that hadn’t stopped until that very moment.

She was twenty years old, and it was time to leave her father’s care. Not that he had cared for her as much as she’d cared for him. Mending his clothes, making his dinner, cleaning up after him. She didn’t know what he would do without her.

But he was insisting. It was time.

“You’re going to be fine, Cora May, and you know it.”

Cora May let out an exasperated breath. “How can you say that, Pa? I have no plans. I have no skills. What am I supposed to do with myself?”

“I have to take this job, my dear,” her father stated, shaking his head. She knew it was true. She just didn’t want to accept it.

“Isn’t there anything you can tell me that I can do? Somewhere to start? You can’t just up and leave me this way. I don’t even know where I am.”

He frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous, Cora May. You are a full-grown woman and know full well that we are in Tennessee.”

“I know that,” she replied shortly, rolling her eyes. “I just mean I don’t know where I am in life and what my next step will be.”

“I thought of that for you. I wanted to … discuss this with you earlier, and definitely not here.”

He looked around, and she mimicked his movements. The dock was occupied by only a few other people saying goodbye or preparing to board. Her father had gotten a job working on the boat and would be leaving for a year at least in about five minutes. 

“I don’t think you should have waited this long,” Cora May said, tilting her head to the side. “Tell me where you want me to go, and I’ll go there.”

“You have skills as a wife.” His words took her aback. She had no interest in any of the men in the small town they were in, and any attractions she’d had in the last four years had been unrequited. 

“That may be so, but—”

He lifted one hand, cutting her off. She closed her mouth, watching as he lifted the flap of his duffel bag and pulled out a magazine from the top. He handed it to her. 

Cora May took the magazine, looking down at the picture on the front. It was a bride in a full white wedding gown smiling at a man dressed in a nice suit. 

“What’s this?” she asked, her eyes running over the front cover. It was called Matrimonial Times.

“You can find a husband in there,” he replied, pressing his fingers on the cover and pulling the front page up so she could see inside the magazine. He was reading upside down. “Look, it’s got advertisements from men around the country who need or want to marry, but there aren’t any women around.”

“That sounds incredibly dangerous,” Cora May murmured, flipping the pages to see if the entire magazine consisted of advertisements for brides. It did.

“I think you’d be perfect for some of these men, my dear. Look how well you’ve taken care of me all this time. You are a wonderful cook. I love your meals. You iron my clothes, wash them, and take care of me when I feel ill. Why, you’ve even worked in the cafes a few times when we needed money.”

Cora May had indeed done those things, mostly because she was afraid her father would go back to a life of crime, which was what she suspected had caused the early trauma in her life. She didn’t know what he’d done for that money or the carpentry shop, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t legal. Ever since the fire, she’d suspected it was retribution for something her father had done.

She’d never held it against him because she had no proof of her suspicions. And she loved him dearly. He loved her, too, and she knew it.

“It’s time for you to live a good life, honey,” he continued, his brown eyes directly on her, his gaze heavy. “You are a grown woman. You should have a stable home, not be running all around the country with your wayward father. When you get to wherever you end up, I want you to send a letter to my friend, Montgomery Adams. This is his address.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket and put it inside the magazine like a bookmark. “You tell him where you are, and when I get somewhere, I can send a telegram. I’ll inquire about it. Then we can write to each other. Would you like that?”

Cora May tried to avoid the overwhelming sadness that threatened to engulf her. She gripped the magazine in one hand and threw her arms around her father, pressing her face into his neck. She could smell the cigars he smoked on his clothes and skin. It didn’t bother her. She would miss it.

“Of course, I would like that, Papa. I just … I wish you didn’t have to go. I really don’t mind traveling with you. I don’t have to go off and find a husband, really, do I? Please don’t make me do that, Papa.”

He hugged her back and held on until another blast from the ship’s horn made them both jump. 

“I have to board,” he said, pulling away from her. “You write to Monty and tell him where you are as soon as you find a home; do you hear me?”

“Yes, Papa.” She was resigned to it. He was her father, and she was used to doing what she was told. She might not like it, but she knew it had to happen. She was a grown woman. She shouldn’t be holding onto her father’s coattails. 

“I love you, Cora May. You make sure you remember that. I’m not leaving you behind. I’m just moving forward in a different direction.”

“Yes, Papa.” Cora hung her head. “I love you, too. I’ll write to Monty as soon as I figure out what I’m going to do. I love you. I love you.”

She said the last of her words as he ran off for the boarding ramp. She threw kisses at him, watching him dash up onto the ship. Once he was on board, he ran down the side and flattened himself against the railing to wave both arms at her. 

“I love you, Papa!” she yelled out. 

She could barely see him but thought he was yelling back that he loved her. She couldn’t hear it and had to assume he hadn’t heard her either, so she continued throwing kisses until the ship slowly pulled away from the shore.

 

Chapter Two

Jake Cooper rode through his hometown of Boxville, Texas, thinking about his future. His past seemed to have finally taken a back seat, and he was looking forward to peace, at least for as long as he could manage it. 

It had been nearly three years since he left behind a nomadic and dangerous life. He’d been riding with the Benedict Gang for almost five years when he realized it wasn’t the life for him. It was a strange adventure for him, anyway, since he’d been brought up in a strict religious home with a preacher for a father and a little whispering mouse of a mother. He’d been disciplined by his father and coddled by his mother. 

That might have been why he’d left home at sixteen and joined that gang. At the ripe old age of twenty-four, he had only experienced stability as a child but jumped straight into a rebellious, dangerous situation as soon as he could. His father disapproved, of course, and wouldn’t let him come home or even speak to him. 

Jake often wondered if there was reconciliation in his future with both parents, who, thank God, were still alive. He’d come to realize the damage his disrespect for his parents had done when he’d joined the Benedict Gang and became an outlaw. He was lucky he wasn’t behind bars or wanted for any crimes.

And unfortunately, there were a few things he could have gone to prison for, though murder wasn’t one of them, thank goodness. But he’d committed crimes while with the gang and had remarkably skirted the law.

He’d changed his life around, and though he thought he was leading quite a boring existence, he didn’t really see the need to bring any more action into his life. He’d seen enough. He’d done enough. Everything left to do in life was just mundane.

“There’s my favorite smiling friend!” 

Jake stopped his horse and stared down at his best friend, the mayor’s son, Max Smithson. He raised his eyebrows, purposefully not smiling.

“Where?” he asked.

Max laughed, lifting one hand to shake. Jake leaned down and took it. 

“How you doin’ this mornin’?” Max asked. 

“Not too bad, I reckon. You?”

“I’m fine. Would be better if I didn’t have to stand here and wait for Flora, bless that girl. She’s in there gettin’ some sewin’ supplies.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the general store behind him. 

Jake lifted his gaze to the general store entrance and then dropped it back to his friend. “You banned from there?”

Max frowned. “What? No. I just want the fresh air.”

“Oh.” Jake gave in to his smile and slid out of the saddle. “Well, why don’t we go get us a beer while you wait for her? She’ll know to look for you in the saloon, won’t she?”

Max laughed. “I reckon she will, yeah.” He glanced over his shoulder through the glass of the enormous front window, which took up most of the outer wall. Apparently, he could see her inside because he gestured exaggeratedly toward the saloon across the street. 

“Checkin’ in with the missus. Never thought I’d see the day.”

Max gave him a pinched look. “You wish you had a woman you could ask permission from,” he teased, winking. “Speaking of which, when you gonna settle down and get you a woman? Good lookin’ man like you, you oughta be married with children by now. You gettin’ old. Don’t want to waste much more time!”

“Twenty-five is far from old,” Jake responded dryly, leading his horse across the street and tying the reins to the hitching rail outside the saloon. He went up the steps, removing his hat as he crossed the threshold into the building. 

It was dimly lit, but he knew his way around. They would sit at a table right by the front window anyway so Max could see when his beloved Flora came out of the store. Flora was a delightful girl, and Jake was glad she was with his good friend. She would be an excellent wife for him. She didn’t mind coming to the saloon and sometimes sharing a beer with her beau and Jake. Flora was a very relaxed and easy-going girl. 

“I don’t have any prospects anyway,” Jake continued, lifting one hand with two fingers up to the bartender, Oscar, who nodded and began to prepare two beers for them. They were regulars, and he knew what they liked. “There’s no women in Boxville for me, and I ain’t movin’.”

“So you should bring one here then.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up. He stared at his friend. “Bring a woman here?” he repeated incredulously. 

“Yeah, bring her here. There’s no women here; you gotta bring her here.”

“Who is ‘her’? How am I supposed to find a woman and bring her here?”

“There’s magazines you can put an ad in, you know. I think that would be perfect for you.”

Jake shook his head. “You’ve lost what’s left of that mind of yours, buddy. No woman is gonna want to come to this podunk town and get married. Nothin’ here to appeal to a woman.”

“That’s just a dumb thing to say,” Max responded, shaking his head. He smiled at the girl who brought their beers to them. “Thanks, Becks.”

“Oh, Max,” the young girl replied, giggling. “It’s Becky. You know that.”

“I like Becks. I like to call you that.” He turned his eyes to Jake. “It’s a good name for her; don’t you think? Becks. Yeah.”

Becky laughed some more, shaking her head as she turned away. 

Jake gave Max a look, but his friend just chuckled. “I don’t know why she doesn’t like it.” He lifted the mug to his lips to take a drink. “I like it. I think it’s really good.” He said the words with his lips against the cup, muffling them. Jake had to laugh.

“Anyway, back to what you were saying,” he said. “Advertise for a bride? What do I have that’s so appealing?”

“You’ve got money and looks. What else do you need?”

Jake looked out the window. Advertising for a bride didn’t seem like something that would work for him. Chances were pretty good that any decent woman would step one foot in Boxville, turn right around, and leave. 

It wasn’t that Boxville was poverty-stricken or dirty or filled with outlaws. It was just a boring little Texas town with a couple of thousand residents spread over many acres of land. Boxville itself consisted of five streets branching off the main road that led from one side of town to the other. Everyone was friendly and helpful. But what woman in her right mind would choose to come there to marry a stranger and live where nothing ever happened?

Jake had chosen the town because of that factor. It was unlikely a woman would want to do that, too. Surely, she’d want some adventure and excitement. 

No, it just wasn’t a good idea for him. He couldn’t see himself writing letters asking a woman to come to Boxville and marry him anyway. He’d resigned himself to fate. If a woman came through town and showed interest in him and weren’t seventy years old, he’d give it a shot. 

Otherwise, he felt it was best just to leave fate to its own design. Whatever God wanted for him, it would happen. That’s how he’d decided to live his life. He wasn’t an outlaw anymore and wasn’t wanted by the law for his past crimes. 

It was best just to stay in his boring little town and live a boring life rather than have dangerous adventures that could end it.

 

Chapter Three

Cora May jiggled against the girl sitting next to her in the coach and smiled as she apologized. 

“Oh, it’s perfectly fine,” the girl replied, grinning back. She held out her hand. “I’m Rosemary. What’s your name?”

“Cora May.” 

She was sitting in a coach on her way to a place called Boxville, Texas, where she was to meet a man named Jake Cooper. She’d responded to the ad in the Matrimonial Times and was excited to be going somewhere hot. 

“This is my brother Matthew and my other brother, Johnny.” Rosemary held out her hand to the two boys facing them on the other side of the coach. “That’s my pa, you can call him Daniel, and here’s my momma, Laura. We’re going to Texas!”

“She’s going to the same place we are, Rosie,” Matthew snipped, though he had a smile on his face. He looked at his brother and rolled his eyes. Johnny grinned wide, switching his gaze back and forth between his siblings. He was clearly enjoying watching them banter, even if it was only for a moment or two before his father shut them down. 

“That’s enough, Matty,” the man said gently. He looked at Cora May, smiling. “Daniel Smith, my wife and three children.”

“It’s so good to meet you,” Cora May said.  

Cora May had just entered the stagecoach. It would be nearly the whole day before they got to Boxville. They would stop halfway through and get something to eat in one of the towns they passed. It would be dinnertime when they actually got to the small Texas town. 

She’d made sure to eat before she left and had brought along a small chunk of ham, cheese, and half a loaf of bread. She hoped it would satisfy her cravings on the way there. 

“I’ve never been on a long stagecoach ride before,” Rosemary said, drawing Cora May’s attention back to her. “Have you?”

Cora May thought back on the many rides she’d had, all the traveling she’d done with her father, and all the modes of transportation she’d been on.

“Oh yes, I have been on many rides,” she responded, nodding. “My pa and I traveled all over North America after … after he lost his business to a fire. He was a trader of goods. He’s gone on a ship right now to make his next fortune.” She grinned.

“Is he a treasure seeker?” Johnny asked with excitement in his tone. His eyes were wide and interested. Cora May was a little surprised by that, considering she hadn’t really said anything much.

“You could say that,” she replied, enjoying the thought of her father being a treasure hunter. “He was always looking for the next big thing, the next way to make a lot of money. He is an excellent tradesman and could talk an Eskimo into buying ice.”

She appreciated the laugh she got from the family and bit her bottom lip with a grin.

“I notice from your accent that you are from Ireland,” the man said.

Cora May felt a tingle of apprehension. Sometimes, people didn’t like the fact that she was from Ireland. Her father had occasionally gotten in trouble for “being Irish while not in Ireland,” and she liked to avoid those confrontations. However, the way Daniel stated that fact didn’t sound like an insult or the beginning of a tirade of them, which had happened in the past. 

“I am. We came from Ireland on a ship when I was ten.”

“Do you miss it?” Rosemary asked, giving her a soft look. “I would miss America if I had to leave. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

“I do miss it sometimes,” Cora May replied, nodding, feeling a heavy weight in her chest just like she always did when she thought of her homeland, “but the weather here is better. Depending on where you are, of course. It was nice to see snow when we lived in Boston. I’ve been through Texas with Pa before but never stayed there. We were mostly on the east coast. Pa said getting to places like California and Arizona was too hard. I think he will like the fact that I’m in Texas, and maybe when he finishes this adventure he’s on, he will come visit me.”

“Do you have family in Boxville?” Daniel continued. 

Cora shook her head. “I’m going there to be married to a man who put an ad in a magazine.”

She noticed when Laura, the mother and wife of this lovely family, looked up, her face alight with interest. “Oh, I’ve heard of that. My sister was considering answering one of those ads. She lives in a very small town and is still with my parents in Kentucky, and she desperately wants to get out and start living her life. She’s always fancied herself a mother.”

Cora May’s first thought was that the woman’s sister had better be a lot younger because this woman had children who looked to be almost grown themselves. They were at least fifteen or more. The son, Matthew, looked like he might be around eighteen or nineteen himself and was supporting the beginnings of a mustache. 

Dismissing her pointless thoughts, Cora May replied, “I am hoping for the same thing. It was a bit strange in that I answered the ad with a short letter about myself since there’s not much to tell.” She let out a soft laugh. “And the next thing I knew, I had a letter with a coach ticket in it. Well, the money for one. I was surprised he trusted me enough by sending me money.”

“It sounds like a match made in Heaven,” Laura said enthusiastically. “What’s his name? Daniel might know him. He’s been to Boxville before when he was looking for the new house we’re moving into.”

“Jake Cooper. Jake Ezra Cooper.”

“Ah, yes, I did meet him.” Daniel nodded. Cora May was relieved to see no tension there. He must have liked Jake. That was good news. “He seemed like a decent fella to me. I met several men who live there, and they all seem quite decent. I didn’t know he was planning to get married. It wasn’t mentioned.”

“Maybe they didn’t want to share news like that with a stranger, Danny,” Laura mumbled. When she looked at her husband, all Cora May saw was adoration. She hoped she was like that with Jake Cooper. 

She wanted to be in a loving relationship, not just make a business deal with a man so she would have a place to live. She was willing to work to survive. But her father’s idea of matrimony did appeal to her.

“I hope you get along with him like two peas in a pod, my dear,” Laura said, leaning around her daughter to pat Cora May on the knee. “I’m sure you will. You seem like such a lovely girl, and Danny says Jake Cooper is a decent man.”

“I spent an afternoon with him, the mayor, and the mayor’s son,” Daniel continued. 

“I’m glad you and your family are going to Boxville, too, to stay,” Cora May said, sweeping her eyes over the family. “I won’t be all alone. At least I will know the five of you.”

“Don’t you ever think you have to feel alone, dear,” Laura exclaimed, a look of subtle alarm on her face. “If you ever need help or shelter, you come to our home, you hear? Danny here will give you our address and you can come over for a housewarming dinner right away. Maybe tonight.”

“You will need time to settle into your new home, I’m sure,” Cora May said, feeling grateful for the sudden and instant friendship offering. “But maybe tomorrow night?”

They all laughed.  


“The Outlaw’s Hidden Heartache” is an Amazon Best-Selling novel, check it out here!

Cora May MacKenzie finds herself at a crossroads, her life thrown into turmoil by her father’s misfortune at the hands of a marauding gang. With constant movement marking her days and the specter of her father’s dealings ever-present, Cora clings to the hope of a stable future, pressured by her father to find solace in marriage and a “normal life.” Unbeknownst to her, her journey toward love and happiness will be shaped by a man whose troubled past holds the key to her heart…

Will Cora’s pursuit of stability lead her to the happiness she longs for?

Jake Cooper, a man with a troubled past, grapples with the prospect of redemption after falling in with a rebellious gang and estranging himself from his family. Seeking a fresh start in the quiet town of Boxville, Jake contemplates the possibility of finding love amidst the simplicity of small-town life. Nevertheless, fortune intervenes, bringing him into an unexpected encounter with Cora.

Will Jake’s troubled history intersect with Cora’s search for stability, or will the secrets they both carry drive them apart?

As echoes from the past resurface, the sudden reappearance of the gang shatters the tranquility of Cora and Jake’s world. Intercepting intimate correspondence between Cora and her father, the gang unearths secrets that could jeopardize the fragile peace they’ve found. With Jake’s murky past as a former gang member coming to light, their love faces its toughest challenge yet. Can they endure the unforgiving landscapes of the Wild West, or will encroaching dangers rend them asunder?

“The Outlaw’s Hidden Heartache” is a historical western romance novel of approximately 60,000 words. No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed happily ever after.

Get your copy from Amazon!


OFFER: A BRAND NEW SERIES AND 2 FREEBIES FOR YOU!

Grab my new series, "Courageous Hearts of the West", and get 2 FREE novels as a gift! Have a look here!




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